Lack of voice or conspiracy of silence : midwives, power and speaking out

Through my own personal journey of midwifery practice it seems that because we have a lack of voice, and this is indeed how most of us know our worlds of practice, we unconsciously engage in a conspiracy of silence. In this instance I use the word \conspiracy\" to metaphorically describe a kind of 'togetherness'. This kind of 'togetherness' is not wholly desirable but to me it has the potential to conjure up a site of struggle perhaps a site of resistance. If in togetherness we can keep and maintain our silence I suggest then by coming to understand how we may have lost our voices perhaps in togetherness there is a chance for speech. This thesis is written from a critical feminist post structuralist perspective calling into question the gendered discursive practices of medicine which have effectively marginalised and silenced midwives and birthing women. For this and many other reasons I believe feminist participatory research its methodology and methods were appropriate for this project. Through sharing our stories (those of women midwives including myself) actively participating in 'analysis-in-action' and the deeper analysis afforded by critical feminist post structuralism we were not only able to question medicine's role in our voicelessness but to expose tensions between ourselves as midwives and midwifery and feminism. Throughout this thesis I wonder 'who I am ?' and 'where am I?' in an effort to critique the relationships between the subject positions we occupy as women and midwives. By discussing location of the 'self in feminist frameworks I have endeavoured to raise new meanings for our lack of voice and bring forth the tensions which surround our silence and what this might mean for birthing women."